See you again!

I have not blogged in so long, not sure why, but here I am.

Since many days, i’ve felt this blog coming, a blog to my ex, Mr and his family.

It’s been 2.5 years now since the end of our relationship and I can honestly say now that I don’t hold any negative feelings to him or his family, ok maybe I still don’t like the cousin who stole from dad and lied to mom, but the rest are all good by me 😀 TBH (Again, she’s probably grown up to be a mature girl now, so peace on that. May God bless her) – Update (2025): she was definitely an immature teenager, but calling out myself because I lose 100 USD then and assumed she stole it and even told Mr that I believed she stole it, at the time , but recently, I found the money in an old pouch from that time. And so I’m due an apology to her as well. Sorry S, I wasn’t a good big sister to you, instead of forgiving you, I held grudges, and that was just as bad. I forgive you for your childish mistakes. At this time, I also forgive the elder cousin brother who also had some things against, as I heard him badmouth me as a joke. I also forgive the other family / friends who I may have expected to reach out to me to try to help restore our marriage in that season, but who never did. I release you all from my unforgiveness. And I pray that you forgive me for every part I played in this and anything I have done or said that hurt you.

So I need to say goodbye to him and the family, there were some hurtful experiences but a lot of good ones too, and I need to remind myself of it all, before I can start the new chapter in my life.

Firstly, to the dad, I have to admit I loved Papa. He was loving and sweet and so generous, hot tempered but a family man through & through, at least as far as I could tell. There were some bad things I was told by others about his character, but then honestly, I realize I can choose to believe only what I have experienced and not what anyone said, so I believe he was a good man. Maybe, he had his days in his youth, but everyone can change and I need to know that he would have too. Thank you Papa, for being such a caring father. You truly never treated me as a daughter in law, but as a daughter, and I know I failed to be a daughter to you, I am sorry for that. Update (2025): I forgive you for what I felt was your part in hurting me and the marriage. I pray that you forgive me for every part I played in this and anything I have done or said that hurt you.

Secondly, to the mom, ok this is a hard one. Because I probably disliked her behaviours as much as I loved her – which was not good at all. I truly regret that I wasn’t able to love her with agape love, aka a love without resenting our differences. She seemed to love to gossip, she spoke before she thought what she was saying, and I have heard too many people refer to her as a harsh woman – but again, I have seen her and to her people, she was very loving, but not very expressive with her affection. On the other side, I was the person who easily expressed affection, and I think I didn’t show her affection because I thought she may not appreciate me doing that. She was a harsh talker & I wasn’t used to it, so we couldn’t get along. I truly wish I could have, she was..she is quite a woman. Amazing cook too, there’s this recipe for chicken roast I learnt from her that is one of the best things I make, and so I literally owe it to her. So, Mummy, thank you for that, thank you for trying, I am sorry I couldn’t be a daughter to you. after the separation.Update (2025): I forgive you for what I felt was your part in hurting me and the marriage. And I pray that you forgive me for every part I played in this and anything I have done or said that hurt you.

Thirdly, to the sister. I think I’ve talked about this sometime, I think she would have been a good friend to me in another lifetime. A (usually) sweet, straightforward girl she is. Again, I’m sorry that I wasn’t a good sister to her. I appreciate the efforts she took to make me always feel welcome. May God bless her and her family. Update (2025): I forgive you for what I felt was your part in hurting me and the marriage. I pray that you forgive me for every part I played in this and anything I have done or said that hurt you. 

Lastly, to Mr, thank you being a good friend whenever we had time together, you have this innate ability to make people laugh and make others feel good, hope you’ll continue to be that light in the lives around you. You were always a good person and I hope your special someone who appreciates all that you are and is able to be the right partner to you. I’ve seen your pictures and you make a beautiful couple. May God bless you both as a family. As for you and me, we both know we probably weren’t right for each other, so different in what we want from life and even our spiritual beliefs. Honestly even though i sometimes wonder what i could have done differently to make things not this way, I know that God has bigger plans for both of us and it did not involve us together. I’m sorry for the times I let my hurt about “us” make me hurt you, I know I said hurtful things & I regret those. So many things we feel in hurt should be told only to God, but I told it all to you and for that I am sorry. Hope you’ll find it in your heart someday to forgive me. Many times, I’ve felt that you were an awesome person but a bad husband to me. But I’m sure, from your point, I would have been a bad wife. So it’s all good, I’m sure we both learnt a lot and in our future relationships every thing we went through will ensure we are a loving and better partner. Perhaps, the 4+ years together was God putting us through fire, to make us both stronger people. I can feel it in me, hope it’s the same for you. Update (2025): I forgive you for what I felt was your part in hurting me and the marriage. The last I heard, you now have another wife but no children yet. And so here’s me releasing my forgiveness on you and your wife. Further, today 26 August 2025, I actually pray that if God has not blessed you with children yet, and if you both are still desiring it, I pray that God heals your bodies, releases her womb and your seed, and gives you a healed legacy to take the family name forward.

And the rest of the family, met you when I was struggling, and unfortunately you possibly saw only that hurting, broken person that was me. I hope you will forgive me for any hurt I may have caused you. Update (2025): I forgive you for what I felt was your part in hurting me and the marriage. I pray you’ll also forgive me for every part I played in this and anything I have done or said that hurt you. May God bless you Update (2025) and keep you! I say the next in no form of judgment (I cannot judge as I had to do this as well) I also pray that (if you haven’t already), that you are led to go to God and cry and repent for your part in our divorce, and to seek out deliverance and healing, for the generation and your bloodline to break all the plans that the enemy of all our souls, satan, may have against your family. That no further weapon formed against you and your bloodline, this steps will be crucial.

So that was it, signing off with a song that seems kinda apt. Though they may not like it LOL! Update (2025): Forgive me for the words in this blog, (like this one I striked out, which to me then was light hearted but may come across to another as disrespectful) or any other shares / online posts in the past that caused anyone hurt. It was what I felt I needed to express for my well being, as I was not confiding in anyone else, and so it should have been kept anonymous even if public, but it wasn’t and this blog led to so much bad blood, when was just an online journal for me became a tool of attack, which is sad. But yea, I also forgive you or Mr, or whoever shared it.